Visible mending
There's this old Robert Frost poem, “A Servant to Servants,” that includes the phrases “the best way out is always through” (which the narrator recalls someone saying to him) and “I can see no way out but through” (which is where he lands in response). Over the years, we've collapsed those into the popular, if misattributed, phrase “the only way out is through,” but it basically means the same thing: whether we hide from it, run from it, or pretend it's not happening, it's still happening, so we may as well meet it head-on.
With that in mind, here are this week's bright ideas for getting through.
Ruminations & fascinations
- I'm not a parent, but I've been in the room as someone I love became one, and this labor and delivery metaphor feels apt for where we are right now.
- Are you familiar with the phrase “concentrated catharsis”? If you watch the show Shrinking with my fellow Muppet enthusiast Jason Segel, the fabulous Jessica Williams, Harrison Ford in a rare comedic role, and Ted “Eat a %@&#, Pam!” McGinley stealing half the scenes, you'll note a great example in season one. After a tragic loss, a young woman's therapist (Ford) suggests she allow herself 15 daily minutes of unbridled catharsis: setting a timer, listening to a sad song on a loop, sinking all the way down into every sad/angry/vulnerable thought, and crying as hard as she needs to... then mopping it up once the timer goes off. Rinse, repeat, every day for as long as it feels helpful. Her dad (Segel) overhears her doing this and tries it himself with Phoebe Bridgers' “I Know the End” (truly a certified grief banger) on a bike ride; cut to him a few minutes later, sobscreaming “Fvck you Phoebe Bridgers!” and crashing into a parked car. Point is, I've been finding it helpful lately to set aside time to fall apart when I need to, on a fairly regular basis, and release whatever needs to be released. Psychological housecleaning meets the pomodoro method. We can have a little breakdown, as a treat, then mop it up and keep moving. Maybe just not on a bike.
- What are we moving toward, exactly, presuming we get through all the things we're in right now? I'm not really sure, but botanist, author and MacArthur Fellow Robin Wall Kimmerer's ideas about the gift economy sound nice.
- OK, so how do we get there, or somewhere like it? I think adopting the ethos of this community clothing repair circle at Heartening Austin is a great first step. Among other things, it teaches visible mending techniques like kantha (from Bengal) and sashiko (from Japan)… sort of like kintsugi, but with thread instead of gold paint and clothes instead of ceramics: here's where the wound was, and here's how we filled it with care.
- If you're even remotely synesthetic (I'm inclined to think we all are; maybe some of us are just a tad more dialed in?) or interested in synesthesia, the very idea of Lucas Gutierrez's art project in progress, called "Denizens," might bring you joy.
- Speaking of playing with unexpected forms of sound: what if Stephen King, Amy Tan, Dave Barry, and maybe Maya Angelou walked into a bar and—no punchline here—started jamming like a terrible high school garage band? Well, you don't have to wonder. It really happened, more than once.
- Hey so I don't know if you've noticed, but it's rather hot outside. I love a low-stakes snack for supper around this time of year, and I also love a zingy mélange of flavors with an alliterative name. This cucumber crunch salad with curried cashews can be made in advance and nibbled on throughout the week, and as a bonus, roasting deez nuts (not apologizing, don't ask) will make your home smell amazing. You can make a whole batch of them and snack all week long. Oh and speaking of recipes, here's what to do if you find yourself with too much ice this summer.
Love y'all.
"We need to be weapons of mass construction, weapons of mass love. It's not enough just to change the system. We need to change ourselves."
—Assata Shakur
22 June 2026
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